Foreign Language Anxiety: Why Speaking Is the Hardest Skill

I love talking. In my native language, I am naturally extroverted. I enjoy conversations, sharing stories, and connecting with people. But when it comes to speaking a foreign language I am learning, I suddenly become quiet, hesitant, almost introverted.

If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place.

This was exactly me a year ago.

About a year ago, I was afraid of speaking Spanish, even though I was at a B2 level. I had thoughts, opinions, and stories ready in my mind. I wanted to speak. Yet the moment I had the chance to talk to someone in Spanish, I started judging myself.

I questioned my abilities. I felt like I suddenly knew nothing. My mind began searching desperately for the “right” words, and the more I searched, the quieter I became.

I’ll be honest: I avoided many important conversations because of this fear.

I’m someone who loves learning and has many interests and passions. So one day, I made a decision: I wanted to master communication in the languages I was learning.

Before trying to fix the problem, I knew I had to understand why it existed.

That’s when I realized something important, I was a self-taught learner. I had no regular speaking partner. I was doing great with reading and listening, but speaking was completely outside my comfort zone.

And yet, speaking was the very skill I wanted to improve.

I started digging deeper into linguistics and psychology, and what I discovered changed my entire perspective on language learning.

Most learners love consuming content; videos, podcasts, books, and courses. There’s a common belief that if we consume enough, fluency will automatically follow.

But psychology tells a different story. If you don’t use what you learn, your brain won’t know how to retrieve it when you need it. Input without output creates recognition, not communication.

You can learn from the best teachers and institutions, but if you don’t actively train your speaking, fluency will always feel out of reach.

Yes, making mistakes in front of others can feel embarrassing. But here’s the truth: if you don’t make mistakes, you’ll never know what needs improvement. Making mistakes while speaking a foreign language isn’t a failure—it’s proof that you’re practicing. It’s feedback in real time.

Instead of seeing mistakes as something to avoid, I began seeing them as opportunities to grow.

Ask yourself this:

• After this conversation, will I be more fluent?
• Or will I stay at the same level because I avoided it?

That question alone changed my mindset.

That’s when I decided to take action. I started recording myself speaking every single day, 10 to 20 minutes on different topics. No scripts. No perfection.

The tools were already there: vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation. The real problem was retrieval. My brain wasn’t trained to access these tools in real time.

So I trained it. For one month, I recorded myself daily—no excuses, no judgment. After that month, I sat down and watched those recordings carefully. I analyzed them from different angles, noted my mistakes, and worked on them one by one. I haven’t mastered everything yet. I’m still learning.

But I’m no longer where I was six months ago.

Along the way, I’ve improved my speaking frameworks, clarity, confidence, and awareness. Most importantly, I stopped seeing myself as “bad at speaking” and started seeing myself as someone in training.

Becoming quiet in a foreign language doesn’t mean you’re introverted. It means your brain hasn’t been trained for retrieval yet. And the good news?

That’s a skill you can build—one conversation at a time.

If this resonated with you, I share more of my language-learning journey, speaking practice, and honest reflections on communication over on Instagram.
→ Follow me on Instagram: @Lexoratranslation_official